Amidst the insanity that is being a full-time Mom I’ve been trying to build an art portfolio. It seems like such a simple thing to put together, such an easy and obvious thing for an artist to have and yet I’m always chasing my tail about it.
Part of it is the stereo-typical self-doubt, nothing is good enough. Then there are my own excuses – I have no time to really work on it, I’m tired & I’d rather watch Netflix, I have some graphic design work to do, I’ll do it later… etc etc I am guilty of all of it. And yet underneath it all is my burning desire to paint and feel legitimised in doing so.
When I became a mother I FINALLY felt a sense of clarity that what I MOST wanted to do, ( in the small pockets of time I had to myself ) was paint. Paint paint and more paint. I’d go on walks with my little possum and look at leaves imagining how I’d paint them… Art stores were wonderful dreamscapes for me of imagined alone time… drooling over colours and tiny brushes.
The other night I sat down with my long-suffering husband and insisted we watched the documentary “Who Does She Think She is?” It was fantastic to be honest. Here were these women that I so 100% related to. They adored their little people and felt the tug of motherhood loud and clear and yet in every pocket of time they had this calling, this nagging knowledge that creating was what they were meant to be doing.
So I felt charged. It was time I get my act together and make a portfolio. I’m trying. Amidst knee injuries, headaches, a fantastic four year old and an overseas trip on Friday I’m going to try gather enough work together to have something solid…
some pieces of me…
wish me luck.